Hi welcome to FakeItTilYouMakeIt a biweekly/bimonthly (every two weeks) account of experiences I’ve had as a server. My goal is to discuss how terrible it can be serving while being an extreme introvert. However, despite not being the best people person, there are plenty of great stories to tell. There will be a mixture of my accounts with people I’ve served, as well as coworkers, food at my restaurants, and anything that has happened while near my places of work.
I’ve been serving for 3 years now at three different restaurants: IHOP, Sushi X, and El Monterrey. Each has been vastly different, not only in what is served but also clientele, and location. One thing has been oddly consistent is the fact that the cooks in each restaurant have all spoken Spanish as their first language, and english as a broken second language at best.
I’m a student and serving is a great way to pay the bills, usually I get to eat either at a discounted price, or for free, and serving, depending which restaurant has decently flexible hours.
I hope to be able to tell stories that people can appreciate and hopefully some can relate to, I cannot be the only introverted person to ever become a server, and I know this to be a fact because some coworkers of mine have been introverted as well. I also hope this can be relatable to the fellow introverts that dine out, because they are the only ones in which I have ever had a pleasant time serving, despite being a select few.
My first job in a new big city, Chicago, was at IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, located at Diversey and California, just a few blocks from where I lived. A corporate business that had many rules and guidelines that some person who gets paid way too much thinks makes a successful business. My boss was an asshole, but not because he is an asshole as a person, but because he didn’t feel that being a leader, and a friend were good ways to lead the people of IHOP. In fact friends of his that are my friends have told me that he has drunkenly talked about wanting to befriend me now, now that he isn’t my boss anymore. I’ve also been told we are oddly similar so this may also explain why he chose to distance himself form me more than others.
Despite being an asshole, my boss wasn’t the worst boss ever and I did manage to learn the ropes of being a halfway decent server. The breakfast business is a fast-paced whirlwind of eggs, pancakes, and mean old people. What’s worse about being a breakfast place is being a 24/7 breakfast joint in a town of around 10 million people. For starters one IHOP rule is to keep tables that are ready to be sat in in a very specific manner, one manner is with an empty coffee pot on the table, however, overnights we could not abide to this rule. Why you might ask? well, copper and plastic coffee pots can make for one hell of a weapon, especially when you’re very drunk and angry for some reason. So one might say this is why we can’t have nice things, but drunk people overnight needed their comfort food, and if they needed it, they got coffee to order, but certainly not before.
Stay tuned in the coming weeks for more on random serving stories with a satiric, and introverted twist.